My mom is in VA. She's usually my first line of defense. M is at work...and not answering his phone. I'm having a panic attack. These have been further between, but when one hits...I don't really care that it's been some time since my last.
I know that some of you reading this today are the praying sort. Please pray for me to feel HIS strength. I know in my head that GOD IS IN CONTROL...and that He won't allow me to go through more than I can handle...but today my boat is rocking. Thanks in advance for your prayers.
***Edited 3 hours later. I got a hold of M. He came home for the rest of the day. This could either be a little blip or this could mean we have a rough week ahead. 7 threw up this morning. I'm hoping it's because he didn't get breakfast soon enough after he woke up. Otherwise, it could mean a chain reaction through the family.
The biggest part of this isn't 7's tummy bug...but my reaction to it. In 1998 when I was in China, I ate something that made me sick from about the 4th of July until Valentine's Day the next year. This was worse than any pregnancy sickness...and I was pretty ill with 4. Beyond the travel bug that I had, was the mental tole that it took. And some how...this makes it all *FLASH* back. I've talked briefly with counselors before, but I've never had the money to pay for going every week. I know that I have to deal with my own demons, but for now...I just don't want to pass on my fears to my kids.
I think I push this back as far as I can in between illness. This time...I might just have to leave it to the front so I can let HIM heal me.
8 comments:
Hang in there. Prayers have been offered up...
I feel your pain. I have started having some minor panic attacks the last 2 weeks. Heart racing, blood pumping, but thankfully I was able to control them. I hope you find a control device that will work. Mine is controlled breathing, but each of us has to find our solution. Peace be with you.
Mine were brought on originally by heavy anesthesia for gall bladder surgery. Maybe someday I will tell you about the attack triggered by a plane ride, it was funny in the end.
So sorry you had to go through this today. I hope you find peace and healing to deal with it. I have no idea how I'll cope if I ever have kids that get the flu like issues, so just having the strength to deal with it is a huge thing. Deep breaths and prayers and fingers crossed that it was just the lack of food and not something more serious to be passed around.
Thank you for posting your trials...we all have them. You went straight to the One who can help you, too. This is a wonderful model to us.
I pray that He will hold you and give you peace.
I've been praying that God holds you in the palm of His hand, and that you feel that security.
I have a tiny version of this worry, too, ever since I had food poisoning a few years back.
Oh my. I wish I had seen this yesterday. I have had quite the battle with anxiety and panic attacks myself (not to mention sick children). I'll be praying for you and feel free to e-mail me if you need to chat. (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry. Prayer being sent up as we speak.
fingers crossed that it was just a late breakfast... you're in my thoughts and prayers.
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