Not what I wanted to write about...

I wanted to show off my sock...I knit 4 rows with the #0-1 addi's that I bought just to see what I thought. Then I frogged. Or rather, I let 6 rip up his own sock. I'll start again soon.

I wanted to show off my FO. The Huckleberry Ascot from the Holiday IK. I even took photos.

I wanted to get on my NOW blog and write about the last 3 weeks before I forget what we've done.

I wanted to blog about the winner to my contest...but since I'll have to crop the photos...that will have to wait too.

Instead, because I'm anxiously waiting for a phone call from M, I decided to check my bloglines.

Check out Marie Grace - Yarn Slayer. Leave her a comment for some free yarn. I love her designs. I knit her Daisy Cardigan for 2. It's a free pattern at The Garter Belt. And I'm thinking about The Lily Cardigan for me. Also...there's new designs up at The Garter Belt.

So...I got the phone call I was waiting for. M was at the ER with 4. He broke his arm. It's the right arm. 4 got out of the bath...and got a pull-up on. Then he wanted to show us how fast the new brand of pull-ups made him run. M was at the end of the hall...4 ran into the living room, turned around and ran back. Just before the end of the hall he tripped. His arm and head hit at the same time. I just thank God that M was there. The kids are getting heavy for me to carry. And with my knee...I can't walk when carrying heavy objects...like the kids.

It's almost 10PM, M and 4 are home now. 4 is so tired as this is way past his bedtime...he just keeps on saying "This off." about the wrap they put on him in the hospital.

***You can stop reading here if you want...but I have to type this out.***


This 3 hour ordeal has been just enough to make me all jumpy. I struggle with anxiety. There I've said it here. I'm not so interested in pretending that I'm all about happy knitting and a perfect family. I struggle with perfectionism...working to the best of your abilities is a good thing. Never thinking that you are good enough isn't. I struggle with trying to be a Supermom. Because I want other people to think that I have it all together. I don't. No one does. But, why can't I just let it stay at that and relax a bit. Probably it's my first-born perfectionism. And the anxiety...well that's another story.

I typed the next sentence 4 times and deleted them all. I think that's all I can say for now. I'm just still struggling with all that's happened in the last month. The loss of a mentor's father. The loss of my dad. The loss of a friend's 2 1/2 year old a week later. The loss of a Pastor's father. And just yesterday (Saturday), this time someone I didn't know...but a friend's friend...17years old and a high school senior. I'm overwhelmed with the death all around. I'm ready for 2007 to be over...and feel a fresh start. But, what I have to realize is that each day is a fresh start. And tomorrow, I'll have a change to live for my King again.

Last night was rough too. But for different reasons. I went online and looked at Beth Moore's site. I've got a couple of her books that I couldn't live without. I found some scripture typed out that I printed to read. Thank You God for Your Word. So, I'm off to read those pages again before I want to crawl out of my skin. I have to be strong tomorrow. I get to visit my orthopedist again...but this time for 4.