The Storm!

I had thought that I wouldn't write about this...but then I decided wanted a record of my thoughts. I feel like a cartoon where the little gray rain cloud follows that one person...and the rest of the world is sunny and dry. I wonder when the rain will stop.

The rain this week is the senseless shooting of my mom's best friend. There are newspaper articles all over the internet. And some of them are gathering ugly comments. It's not right. Let the family and friends be.

Seriously...
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I don't know what's next. This current storm started in August of 2004. Or at least that's the last time I remember the "sun shinning" with out a cloud in the forecast. In September of that year, I found out I was expecting #3. My first 2 had been pretty easy...not to bad in the morning sickness...and a little pre-term labor with #2. But, #3 whooped my but. I was ILL. All. Day. Long. I had an almost 3y.o. and a 19mo. ...with lots of energy. My Gram was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. In November, she had the surgery. By Christmas, my pre-term labor was starting. In January 2005, I had an abscessed tooth...and started bedrest. I spent time in the hospital. My Gram was undergoing chemo...and my mom was torn between staying with me so I could keep my little bun in the oven, and being with her mom (7 hours away). I gave birth 5 weeks early (at least that part was easy...she was little 7# 4oz...good thing she was early...at term I could have had a 10# kid). And then when my baby was 5 days old I went in for the evaluation with my endodontist. That's when I saw that I would need 8 root canals...maybe more. I cried. I visited my dentist regularly. I took adivan for the appointments and vicodin for the pain. I don't remember a lot of weekends as I had my appointments many Fridays so M would be home to watch the kids while I recovered. At least I knit. My Gram died just before the littlest turned 1. I knit with more fervor, because it made me feel close to her. Then I finished with the teeth (or so I thought) just before my littlest turned 2. A little sun broke through the clouds. 2 1/2 months later I fell. I couldn't drive for 3 months. Then I drove with my left leg and earned parking in those special blue spaces. Just before my handicapped parking tag expired, my dad died. We finally paid off the dental bills from the last few years. Then I ended up back at the dentist for another root canal, 2 major fillings, and a pulled tooth (not all on one day, Thank God;0)). And then this...I started getting calls from my mom's school switchboard on Thursday while I was at the library. Within a few hours, I was making calls to family and friends. So, I'm at another funeral on Tuesday. The day before I turn 33. Oh, did I mention...I spent my 30th birthday in the ER, and my 31st at the Urgent Care, and my 32nd...well, we didn't go to Urgent Care until the following morning...because I just couldn't be there 3 years in a row.

I generally find a song to pull me through. Here's my song for this.