Panic Attack...

My mom is in VA. She's usually my first line of defense. M is at work...and not answering his phone. I'm having a panic attack. These have been further between, but when one hits...I don't really care that it's been some time since my last.

I know that some of you reading this today are the praying sort. Please pray for me to feel HIS strength. I know in my head that GOD IS IN CONTROL...and that He won't allow me to go through more than I can handle...but today my boat is rocking. Thanks in advance for your prayers.


***Edited 3 hours later. I got a hold of M. He came home for the rest of the day. This could either be a little blip or this could mean we have a rough week ahead. 7 threw up this morning. I'm hoping it's because he didn't get breakfast soon enough after he woke up. Otherwise, it could mean a chain reaction through the family.

The biggest part of this isn't 7's tummy bug...but my reaction to it. In 1998 when I was in China, I ate something that made me sick from about the 4th of July until Valentine's Day the next year. This was worse than any pregnancy sickness...and I was pretty ill with 4. Beyond the travel bug that I had, was the mental tole that it took. And some how...this makes it all *FLASH* back. I've talked briefly with counselors before, but I've never had the money to pay for going every week. I know that I have to deal with my own demons, but for now...I just don't want to pass on my fears to my kids.

I think I push this back as far as I can in between illness. This time...I might just have to leave it to the front so I can let HIM heal me.

Finally a Washer AND Dryer.

Sometime in May, our washer quit draining.  It was frustrating.  And when it began to give out more frequently, M & I needed to discuss a new one.  On a whim, we went to Sears just to look.  We were debating the cost of repairs on the old one vs. the price of a new one.  All that balanced with the potential decrease in our water bill.  We bought a set.  We LOVED the set.  But, they were only able to deliver the Washer.  It came on June 5th.  Our dryer was scheduled for the 20th.  Then the 24th, then the 26th, then the 29th...and just Saturday I received a call that our dryer wouldn't be available until July 16th!!!   I was loosing faith that we'd ever have a matched set.  We went in to the local store.  They just happened to have a BLUE set in the store.  They could pick up the White Washer and our old dryer and we've have a SET...just like that.  Only could it really be so easy?!?  They came this morning...and tested everything...it all worked, so they left.  The delivery man placed the 'owner's manual' conveniently over a 5" scratch that had been touched up with the wrong color paint!  Seriously!  I just want a Washer AND a Dryer without drama.  We worked out a deal for a store gift card and they're picking up a year's worth of extended warranty.  I think I still need to call tomorrow about a plastic piece that seems to be falling off.  What has happened to appliances these days.  They seem to be sparkly, but where's the reliability?  Our old Washer/Dryer set was 7 1/2 years old.  Granted with 3 babies...I did a LOT of laundry.  But, our fridge is nearing 21 years old.  I'm almost scared to get a new one that might look pretty and have fancy features...but won't work.  What are your appliance woes?  

Laker Victory!

When your dad is a Laker fan...he'll take you to the victory parade. And if you're at the parade...you'll ask to buy a flag. And when you get this flag...you'll beg your mom to drive around town displaying your pride.

Summer Knitting Goals

Last year at this time I was knitting like mad on an afghan for a wedding. And some washcloths for a swap. And some blanket squares. None of that escapes me right now. A whole year seems to have flown by. Some anniversaries are sweet, and some are painful. I pray for the young couple, that they may keep God first in their marriage. The tiny blue blanket...it never did settle in my heart right to donate it...and at the end of the summer, it went home as a comfort to the mama. Right now, I pray that it comforts her as she marks the anniversary of her son's birth and death...all in the same week. Although, I know that nothing short of heaven can take away that void in her heart. In my own life, the thing that's held me together through the ups and downs has been my knitting and my Lord. These past few weeks have held little time for me to knit. But I did finish a sock...and CO for the 2nd. I'm going to be more intentional about knitting! I'm making a list of summer goals for a contest...and for myself.

This summer:

• Finish Downpour Socks
• Finish Spring Forward Socks
• Finish Roza's Socks
• Re-Knit Sanity Socks (after realizing that they were 2 different sizes, I frogged them both)
• Dye yarn for my FLS
• Start my mom's sweater

I'm trying not to make too lofty of goals. I think last year I failed miserably. I ended up knitting away on market bags and washcloths. That was mindless knitting for me. But, maybe if you ask the recipients of my knitting...it wasn't such a flop.

Lunch!

It's not even Monday, but my kids are always excited to see Muffin Tins. I was looking around some homeschooling blogs since our summer started, and I just now found out that there's a whole Mr. Linky set up for MTM's. Who knew? I think I saw this once on Crafty Crow and have just been doing my own thing ever since. I have done alphabet themes for our lessons, but I might just have to look at how to incorporate this as part of our school next year. Today's lunch is watermelon, carrots and ranch, TLC crackers, String Cheese, Chicken Salad, Grapes, Blueberries, Chocolate Teddy Grahams....

This lunch gets 2 thumbs up!

And cookies for dessert. After my kids each have one, there will be 2 left. I might have to find some little friends for these cookies so I don't eat them.