I know that I'm not the only one having hard days. And I know that when I sit back to count my blessings (M, my kids, a house to live in, etc.) I can see that I am truly blessed. In spite of that, I feel like I've had more than my share of hard days lately. Ok...for the last 2 years. I want so badly to be the cup overflowing person. I'm really trying. And I'm reminding myself that "the testing of [my] faith produces endurance."
So, for a little background. I don't know if I've ever written about this here, but my teeth really suffered after my pregnancy with 2. Actually, I had to make an emergency trip to the endodontist when I was 5 months pregnant. Then, I started to visit regularly when she was only 5 days old. The short version -- I had 8 root canals, 9 crowns, and assorted other fillings as a result of my 3rd pregnancy. Our dental bill was similar to the price of a compact car. I was so grateful to finish my regular trips to the dentist just before my little girl's 2nd birthday. And then I've had a few cleanings with good reports. So I was a little sad this time when I had a small cavity. I went in on Friday for the filling. My dentist drilled...and drilled...and then looked at me and said "CRAP!" Seriously, that's what she said. But, I have a different relationship with my dentist since I saw her every 2 weeks for a year. She called my endodontist...and he could see me right then. So, I left with a hole in my mouth and drove the 6 miles between the offices. I tried to do the root canal right then, but without the "happy pill" that I normally take. I couldn't do it. I was to nervous, and started freaking out. He can't work on me when I'm shaking. So, he filled my tooth with cotton, and packed it shut. And I have to go back on Wednesday. I'm in pain...probably not the tooth since he was able to clip the root...more likely the 4 shots I had (2 at the dentist, and 2 with the endodontist). This will be my 9th root canal! It's hard to wrap my mind around that. I spent a good part of Friday evening crying. I feel like crap for not being able to just take the drilling. And I don't really have the luxury of another day to have the appointment and recovery time. And I feel like a bad mom for all the things I've not been able to do since 2 was born...first the teeth, then I had 2 1/2 clean months before my knee...and I just started to drive like a regular person (not with my left leg)...and now another tooth. All this with losing my Dad, and the anniversary of my Gram's death...its just too much to handle for me. Part of me wonders why I need such lessons in endurance. Is it ironic that this was my Good Friday experience. If you've read this far...sorry for the dental woes...but go read this blog, especially this post, it has been so helpful to me lately.
17 comments:
Wow! I had no idea a pregnancy could lead to all kinds of mouth craziness! I can only imagine the bills. .. even my 'good' dental insurance only pays for $2000 of work every year! It is sometimes hard to stay positive, but at least you get an A for Effort! Here's to hoping this is only a momentary relapse into the bad stuff and things move on a more positive trajectory!
Oh! I feel for you! Sending you well wishes and a big hug!
Ouch!! I have never had a root canal but I have had 4 teeth pulled, plus 2 wisdom teeth but I was completely out during that. I am scared to death of the dentist and know what that feels like. I shake and get all sweaty every time. I will be praying for you!! I hope things get better for you soon!
I really feel for you. I work in a dental office know that it can be hard when a routine filling turns into so much more than that. And that is a lot of history to come out of a pregnancy.
I'm going to send you all of my good dental vibes today.
I am glad that you are able to keep your spiritual self uplifted. I just think about the wonderful lesson that you are teaching your children.
You do lots of great things with your children! They are blessed to have you for their mom. I hope Wednesday goes really well for you.
I'm sorry you are going through all this with your teeth. I don't think you're alone in your fear of dental work. I can't stand needles, and have done fillings without novicaine - thankfully they were still small enough that my dentist could do it this way, but the one time he came at me with the needle I FREAKED OUT.
I'm not sure why God gives us the challenges that he does, but I try not to question it. Thankfully, it can usually always be worse - just look what his Son went through.
God bless you...
you poor thing! i've never had a root canal, but i'm beginning to think that's because you've had enough for at least 4 people... hang in there. it will get better.
Sending all sorts of positive and uplifting thoughts your way. I sure hope your tooth is soon feeling better - I've been victim of the tooth pulling, as my baby ones didn't fall out on their own... 20 teeth removed by my dentist... Not quite the pain of the root canal, but I sympathize.
Don't stress about the time spent away. Get the kids to make you jello or pudding. It might be a bit lumpy, but its something you can enjoy without chewing, and they can make. You can get some time in with them while recovering.
Here's hoping your days are easier and there isn't much pain in the tooth. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts! You deserve them for all!
Oh I HATE dentist..lol been there done that :) Almost thought that was post about me...lol
I was always a question kid and well now not so much a kid anymore but still question..lol Try to hang in there, it will get better and you are very blessed! (your raising three of them) :)
Big hugs and good thoughts & prayers to you!
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry to hear about your suffering. I truly hope things get way, way better and fast! Your such a dear person so share your story. So often we think that it's best to "grin and bear it" but when you tell your story you are sharing your life and that is great. I will keep you in my prayers.
Hey thanks for the link. Really neat site. Even in your pain you give of yourself. Feel better.
Oh dear :( Teeth problems are trying when in the best of circumstances. Don't be so hard on yourself though.. really. Everyone has rough times in life and more than they can handle. You will find the grace to see the good things again when things settle down - it's totally ok to wallow sometimes! I'll pray for you and your family!
Thanks for stopping by my blog today. I'm glad the "Brokenness" thought encouraged you.
Somehow, I don't think "Hard Days" is even scratching the surface of what you're going through. I pray you are recognizing God's presence in the midst of your trials - that you are confident of His love and faithfulness, and convinced of His goodness, even in the hard times.
I have found great comfort in the knowledge that God does not waste any of our sorrows...He will use this entire situation for good. I don't know how, but somehow He will accomplish what is good and perfect. Keep trusting in Him, friend!
I also share your dental phobia. Thankfully I also have the "happy pill". I went over a week ago and had a filling, the tooth has bothered me ever since but I am soooo busy right now I can't afford to spend another day completely looped! My dentist's receptionist is attending a presentation I'm giving tomorrow night - hopefully she won't notice I keep holding my face!
Hi, km,
I just wanted to remind you that you are loved--deeply loved--by your Father in heaven. In the days when putting together a grocery list would reduce me to tears, I learned just how much I could rely on Him. I learned to grab His Word or grab my 3x5 cards that had His Word on them and cling to His promises whenever my mind threatened to disintegrate. Soon the negative, condemning thoughts would cease and I'd experience His love and peace. I discovered it takes quieting my mind--not letting my thoughts about my circumstances keep me from going to God, even when it seemed He didn't care. This is true faith--believing the opposite of what your life suggests. Just as the tragedy of Jesus' death seemed pointless to the world, in God's eyes it was Jesus' most triumphant moment because despite everything, He believed God. And God came through for Him. As He will for us. We must take every thought captive to Christ. It can be done. And then the light begins to shine through.
My goodness! Sorry to hear about all that. Of course you're a good mom - a great mom actually - but it's so hard to think positively when you're in so much pain. Hope you recover quickly!
I was looking thru your blog and found this post and I love your honesty about just difficult stuff. I am so sorry about your teeth....I have heard of pregnancy causing such problems.
We are in similiar boats in life. My girls ar 7,5 and 3 :)
OH, and I have to let you know that I laughed at your comment on my "In the Midst of it" because you referred to Irritable Mother as Irrational Mother. What a great laugh for me today. It is nice to meet you!
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