Cyberbullying

Yesterday we were at the park. Another mom thought she saw my kids hitting their friend with sticks. They boys play a game where they throw a stick and the doggie (a little girl) fetches the stick and brings it back in her mouth. Not my favorite game, but they are using their imaginations...they've played this game for a while now. The other mom, instead of coming over and talking to me about the questionable behavior, posted to a message board about the 2 boys that were harassing the other kids at the park. You guessed it...MINE. I really struggled with what to think. I asked the boys if they hit other kids with sticks. They confessed to poking kids and saying "Get Back!" when the other kids were throwing wood chips at them and at the girls my boys were playing with (my friend's girls). If the kids we were with had been hurt or offended, the would have stood up for themselves, or come and told me. I struggle with who to believe, my own kids or the observations of the other mom at the park.

After a night to sleep on it, I'm thinking that it's not just teens that need lessons in cyberbullying. Had this mom come to me at the park, I could have talked to my kids right then. Instead, her words are posted across the internet. I have a friend on that message board who lovingly told me what was being said about my kids. I do want to know if my kids are doing something wrong. But internet posts are not the way to accomplish that. In fact, her words were not directed to me, but to another group. In the same way that she thought my kids were harassing others at the park, she is harassing us in a digital medium. Gossip. She didn't come to me...instead, she told others about me.

What I saw was that my boys were constantly being bombarded with wood chips. At 7 & 8, they know that throwing wood chips or sand is not allowed and if/when I catch them throwing things, I'll load them back up in the car and take them home. What the other parents saw was not their kids throwing wood chips, but my kids yelling at them (after being pelted with wood chips). I'd yell too if someone threw something at me. Another small child yanked my 7's sunglasses off his head and broke them into 2 pieces. That mom just watched it happen and did nothing. I hate to say it, but I'm ready for those kids to go back to school. I miss the 9 months of the year when we homeschoolers have the run of the parks, libraries, museums, and such to ourselves.

My boys could have benefited at the park, learning that their behavior was scaring other kids and changing. This would have allowed them to grow their character in the situation. Instead, the conversation is happening without us. Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”